Week 24 – My growing belly and apparently moodiness..

Back tracking what’s actually been going on with me is actually a little bit harder than I thought, when all I’ve got to go off is instagram pics and facebook statuses which unfortunately, don’t depict anything other than me being a bit stressy and hormonal, however I can update with progress pics ableit they’ve also come to a bit of a halt as of late. But hey, no judgement right? No judgement for not showing off my ever growing bulging stomach that drags me down day by day, who doesn’t want to see that? 

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‘pretty much 24 weeks anyway, people keep asking to see so trying to keep a weekly progress thing. right now my belly is feeling really tight and from my perspective just looks really round, although I know I’m still tiny really. currently feeling crappy and down, loneliness is really creeping in and id be crying right now if i wasn’t so tired. feeling this down all the time is exhausting..’  – Oh dear, pregnancy isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. 

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Week 16+1 – Give it a rest, hormones.

This seems like a stupid title for me because actually, the hormones thing hasn’t really kicked in and there’s only been one or two momentous occasions of ridiculous emotions flying everywhere, except for right now.

Right now it’s half two in the morning (hardly the perfect sleeping pattern for growing a child in you I’d imagine) and I’m lying awake in bed undecided, yes actually undecided, as to whether I’m going to flood myself with tears and make my face sore until I inevitably succumb to sleep which I have so far been quite deprived of (thanks OH!) ORRRRR, get so fuming and angry that I actually want to kick and scream and bite something and punch something. Quite honestly I’m leaning towards the latter, but given it being this late and there people in this house who aren’t pregnant who feel exactly the same and crazy and are absolutely f-ing mental right now, we’ll just have to put a pin on that one.

All of this, and it’s pretty much unjustified, apart from the fact that it’s been a crappy and very hectic weekend of work. I’m feeling downer than ever right now.

#nobody #gives #a #sh

Laterrrrrs.

Week 14 – Whoops? Scans, shopping and the second trimester!

Some slight inactivity I’ll admit 😉 But here’s for a wonderful wonderful recap. My fears of something bad being revealed at the scan – idiotic! Everything was absolutely fine, we got to see our little bambino inside of my tummy! First it was asleep, all curled up looking like a kidney bean and my thoughts were. ‘is that it?.’ I honestly was thinking that it doesn’t look like a baby at all, until it moved. Yes, it got up, faced right at us (on the screen anyway) and had a good old wriggle and dance, WOW. We actually saw this little thing’s arms and legs wriggling around! Did I cry you might ask? No, at the stupidest time ever, I got the uncontrollable giggles, which actually got in the way of the sonographer trying to capture a photo of said kidney bean. Luckily enough, I maintained a moment of sanity for a second, and here we are.. 

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The only thing we didn’t expect at the scan was the date being a little less far along as I’d thought, so this pushed us back a little and so finally, today, I am 14 weeks pregnant! The second trimester!! This hopefully means goodbye to the morning sickness and feeling crappy, getting a little bump to display soon and hopefully a nice glow in which makes all the sickness seem so far worth it.

Other than the scan, we are no further forward with establishing somewhere to live, whoopee! But we did get to go on a big baby spending spree where we bought lots of little pairs of socks, and baby toiletries etc. We actually managed to buy the travel system too, and the one I wanted! Which I absolutely adore and cannot wait to use haha – shh, maybe too soon for that. But we’ll get there 🙂 

Up and coming, I have the consult at the doctors tomorrow for being so underweight, which dear god do I have to go to? I hardly fancy being told off for not eating enough and lectured, when I know very well I have to eat more and actually keep this thing inside of me growing – thanks doc, I had no idea. Hopefully they’ll give me some idea of how to gain a little weight that the baby needs, and some extra growth scans wouldn’t go a miss 😉 Fingers crossed extra scans! 

Aaaaand in a couple weeks we have the midwife again, and a couple weeks after that we have the 20 week scan. This is THE scan, the fingers crossed it’s what you want scan, the pink or blue scan, the dangly bits or not dangly bits scan. EEK! Lots to look forward to and to not look forward to. The joys!

Week 11+2 – BOREDOM.

Honestly, I don’t know whether I’m just incredibly bored being off work all week, or it’s just because I’ve been waiting for the last seventeen days.. for the scan tomorrow. Oh, THE SCAN IS TOMORROW. Wow, I don’t know whether I’m scared, excited or just a little numb about the whole thing actually. I can’t quite grasp the concept that tomorrow at 3pm I’ll be going to the hospital to have goo dolloped on my belly, and some stranger looking at my baby before I get to, might I add. I think a little part of me is fully expecting to go there and find out that actually, there’s nothing there, or whatever was inhabiting me, has ceased to and has vacated the premises because actually, my womb doesn’t resemble the egyptian beach holiday it was hoping for. I know that sounds awful, but that’s what I’m worried about and I’m trying to be realistic in case that happens. Lets face it, I’ll be devastated and sobbing quite a lot. I’ve grown strangely attached to this little tadpole peanut jelly bean thing growing inside of me, or at least the idea of this thing being a baby eventually, being loved and adored and hopefully being well behaved and the cutest thing ever. But oddly enough, despite wanting everything to be okay and being worried, I still can’t quite grasp that this is happening. There’s very little to convince me.. aside from the now three missing monthly witches, the throwing up, nausea and indigestion. 

Actually, on that note, just this morning I was saying to my mam that it looks like the sickness has stopped (not that I’ve had a lot regardless) and it’s just the nausea. This was about five minutes after I’d had a yoghurt, and about two small mouthfuls of chicken noodles, before I threw it all up. Irony loves me what can I say. Since then I’ve eaten two mince pies and a custard doughnut from greggs though, so all is well, not healthy, but well.

That’s all I have to report for now, my hopes and fears, boredom and sickness. How wonderful. Maybe I’ll update tomorrow with info from the scan and a pic hopefully! 

 

Week 10 – Hair disasters and annoyances.

Hair disasters? Where do I start! 

Actually, it all started with me thinking, oh, i fancy that lighter blonde-ish hair colour there, instead if my super dark ‘mahogany’ brown hair, verging on black that I have now. Have you ever tried to change your hair colour this drastically, let alone when you’ve been pregnant? I sincerely hope not, because after the long process, what followed was not nice. I actually have had no trouble with hair dyes let me reassure you, in the six years that I have been dying my hair from home, so this was a little bit of a shock. Yesterday I had used a colour remover on my hair, a blonde hair dye, followed by an ash blonde hair dye, and all was going well until the last dyes got on and my scalp started to sting. Some hair dyes do sting a little, and it actually calmed down a bit, but after all the dying and scrubbing and drying and repeating, at the very end of it all.. my sister quite wonderfully announced that my scalp, was bleeding. I must’ve had a chemical reaction/burn. Marvelous. Just what I wanted! A nice ash blonde stained red colour (and I say ash blonde, but really that was a bit optimistic thinking it would get that light – its more of a medium gingery brown from a dark brown black colour). Not only this, but because I’ve decided to let it settle and not aggravate my scalp more for a few days, I slept on it, and have a clumpy horrible patch at the back where it has actually dried into my hair. Even better. Lesson learned – once you are pregnant, you can’t do ANYTHING the same again. What a disaster.   

Other than that, people have been quite irritating lately, asking a lot of questions like ‘are you sure you’re pregnant?’ – really? After six positive tests, I’d think so. No need for you to put doubts into my head though, not like I’m already worried about the scan and everything being alright. You are all an absolute delight to talk to. I’ll give them the fact that I’ve had nausea mostly and bouts of morning sickness the last week, which appears to have stopped now. Counting myself lucky on that front, but please shut up. 

On a positive note – I can’t even think of anything positive right now. Lets go with a more crazy lady note, where I’ve only gone and bought a dress for a little baby girl, when we don’t even know what we’re having! In my defense, it won’t make a difference on what we end up having, I won’t love it any less if it was a boy, and it was super super cheap, down from £10 to £2.50!! Bargain! Only little niggle is that it’s first size and little lacy dresses aren’t probably what normal people dress their newborns in. To hell with it! I may go buy something for a little boy to even the playing field though. Lets hope this is normal haha. 

x

Week 8+1 – Is this morning sickness? I think so.

Yeah, so I’m just gone 8 weeks pregnant ‘apparently’ (I’m still not convinced) and the only real bouts of morning sickness I’ve had where I’ve actually thrown up has been during my trip to London after feeling a little off and drinking a cuppa, and another morning after a bowl of weetabix and a cuppa. I’m beginning to think it’s either the milk, or the tea, or both, and quite frankly I can’t cope with not having a cup of tea as and when it pleases me. 

Anyway, other than those two wonderful occasions, really, most of my time consists of running to the toilet, to almost throw up, but instead I just end up heaving with a sore stomach and feeling queasy on and off all day. If this is morning sickness, then I’m probably lucky, although I don’t feel it. It also sort of worries me, or not worries, just reminds I suppose, me that the old tale goes that morning sickness is worse with a little girl, so probably not what I’m having. After we’ve thought of a wonderful baby girl name (I know, so early and already having a name!) and I probably want a girl and dislike EVERY male name ever, I’ll end up with a little boy. 

Wow, I sound pretty ungrateful. Obviously it means the world to me and beyond that the baby is healthy and whatever gender it will be I will love it unconditionally, but it’s pretty difficult to not have a preference I think. Unless its twins in which case we had one of each, but that would be the complete wrong thing to be wishing for right now. I’d have to give one away. In fact I’ve already tried to offer people one of them just in case that scenario comes into play. Oh dear. I should stop thinking about that.

Midwife appointment next week anyway, a little disappointed that there wont be any actually progress reported on the baby but whatever, lots of blood to be taken and it’s a step closer to finding out the progress I guess. When does this all actually start to feel real though? 

Week 7 – Time to go to London!

So as stated earlier on, I think, I’d mentioned that me and OH were planning a little trip to London, to see family, friends and do all the tourist-y things. Well it felt like that was ages away, and here it is, been and gone. But here’s how it went:

 

Monday – Travelled down to London, about 5 hours and 15 minutes of driving with multiple stops. Finally arrived at my Aunty Caroline’s and just chilled out for the night, ready for a busy day in London the following day. We actually told them both about being pregnant, and they were absolutely over the moon excited, which was brilliant. 

Tuesday – Ugh, early mornings are already on my hate list. Got the train from Basingstoke to Waterloo, which wasn’t much fun for OH as he hates trains and that was a loooong 45-50 minute journey. Then spent the day in London at the Aquarium which OH loved, seeing Big Ben and the House of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, a trip to Camden (WOW) and then back to the London Eye before travelling home. Quite a busy day but Camden was fun (aside from OH being offered drugs)! That night we has chinese food (and by that I mean, I had chips, rice and curry sauce..) with my Aunty Caroline and Uncle Tony which was nice.

Wednesday – HARRY POTTER. THAT’S RIGHT. We went to the Harry Potter Warner Bros Studio Tour, a big studio in Watford all about the making of Harry Potter with the real sets, costumes and all sorts. It was absolutely amazing, and after drinking a butterbeer (which the thought of just churned my stomach a little), I came back with a deathly hallows keyring, tales of beedle the bard book, the marauders map and a slytherin hoodie – yes, i got my geek on. Possibly my favourite day 🙂 We then went to see my Aunty Vikki, uncle and cousins to tell them the news, who once again, took it VERY well, which again was wonderful and not worth the nerves 🙂 

Thursday – This morning was awful. The first sign of morning sickness. After feeling a little ill, I made a cup of tea (or OH did) and after a few sips thinking Id felt better, I threw up a little. But still – we went back into London. Trains and trains later, we ended up at Madame Tussauds which I’ve always loved, however this time a little less enthusiastically, feeling absolutely rotten. After the first room I was ready to come home. We then trekked back to Camden to get some beaut dr martens Id seen the other day but alas, they did not have them in my size 😦 OH really wanted to go to the Natural History museum too, so we went there and I was feeling even worse by this point and was probably being quite difficult, so we really just rushed around, quickly popped to Harrods and came home from London for the final time. Apparently a carvery that night was the trick to feeling better 🙂 I also got to tell my cousin Keith I was pregnant, who seemed quite shocked but happy. 

Friday – FINALLY, I got to go see Savannah and her boyfriend, my friend since being about ten years old and this was an absolutely massive shock to her. The last time we saw each other we were worried about going into big school and thinking about the six weeks holidays – now she’s talking about a water birth and all the many places that will leak on my body! How.. wonderful. We went for food anyway, we all got on really well (obviously) and hopefully they’ll come stay with us next year when we get our own place! V exciting. 

 

So. That’s London. This morning I’ve been a little ill again, oh dear. These are probably not the happy moments I’ll look back on, but I keep telling myself it’ll all be worth it. Oh and I also watched my first ever episode of One Born Every Minute last night? That is bloody scary and a bit nerve-wracking.. but very emotional when you see little fingers and toes! That’s all for now anyway, byeee.