This is me, right now. 35 weeks pregnant and whilst I’m constantly told that I look about four months along, I’m about 8 months and this, for me, is huge. So lately what’s been going on? Well, lets start with my mental break down last week.
Last week was our growth scan, our last time seeing our little not so little anymore bean on the screen, before we eventually meet her in person. After being told I was measuring so small, and having early induction mentioned (if growth isn’t on track) I was hoping to have some sort of idea as to whether they’d be, and by they I mean I’d be pushing her out earlier than anticipated. Unfortunately the scan proved to be a bit disappointing. First of all, the doctor doing it said about three words to us and and answered no questions and offered no reassurance, but secondly, our little girl was so far down and tucked away that they pretty much found it impossible to get measurements. This meant we came away with only two measurements from this scan, and now I have absolutely no clue how she’s doing and what the doctors are likely to decide. Sob sob sob. Actually, that’s exactly what I did – sob. Having greater expectations from this scan, where we didn’t even really see our little girl and only had the heartbeat pointed out, well, I was bound to be let down and I absolutely was. This was probably one of the worst days so far.
Right now, I’m waiting for a midwife appointment tomorrow and the consultant appointment to discuss growth next week – very anxiously waiting. I’m battling induction or naturally going into labour in my head and trying to be prepared for both possibilities, but to be quite honest I cannot imagine her coming early. Cue the first time mother freak out.
I. Know. Nothing (John Snow – sorry). I get frightening thoughts along the lines of, ‘what the hell do I do with a baby..‘ as labour approaches and we actually have this little person to care for and be her entire life system basically. From what I gather they don’t issue an instruction manual at the hosptial, which would be really bloody handy. Hasn’t anybody suggested this?
Maybe I need one of those books – first time parenting for dummies..
Anyway, that’s enough from me. I’ll keep you guys updated this time.