Week 35+1 – Up to date, what’s happening right now!

This is me, right now. 35 weeks pregnant and whilst I’m constantly told that I look about four months along, I’m about 8 months and this, for me, is huge. So lately what’s been going on? Well, lets start with my mental break down last week.

Last week was our growth scan, our last time seeing our little not so little anymore bean on the screen, before we eventually meet her in person. After being told I was measuring so small, and having early induction mentioned (if growth isn’t on track) I was hoping to have some sort of idea as to whether they’d be, and by they I mean I’d be pushing her out earlier than anticipated. Unfortunately the scan proved to be a bit disappointing. First of all, the doctor doing it said about three words to us and and answered no questions and offered no reassurance, but secondly, our little girl was so far down and tucked away that they pretty much found it impossible to get measurements. This meant we came away with only two measurements from this scan, and now I have absolutely no clue how she’s doing and what the doctors are likely to decide. Sob sob sob. Actually, that’s exactly what I did – sob. Having greater expectations from this scan, where we didn’t even really see our little girl and only had the heartbeat pointed out, well, I was bound to be let down and I absolutely was. This was probably one of the worst days so far.

Right now, I’m waiting for a midwife appointment tomorrow and the consultant appointment to discuss growth next week – very anxiously waiting. I’m battling induction or naturally going into labour in my head and trying to be prepared for both possibilities, but to be quite honest I cannot imagine her coming early. Cue the first time mother freak out. 

I. Know. Nothing (John Snow – sorry). I get frightening thoughts along the lines of, ‘what the hell do I do with a baby..‘ as labour approaches and we actually have this little person to care for and be her entire life system basically. From what I gather they don’t issue an instruction manual at the hosptial, which would be really bloody handy. Hasn’t anybody suggested this?

Maybe I need one of those books – first time parenting for dummies..

Anyway, that’s enough from me. I’ll keep you guys updated this time. 

Week 32 – Hospitals and holidays!

Yeah, pregnancy just gets more and more fun doesn’t it? On this day I’d been decorating the baby’s room all day and probably hadn’t noticed that much that I hadn’t felt the little one moving so much that day. And inconveniently, she decided that the appropriate day to take a day off would be the day before I drove off to London with the mother and nephew. This was a new experience for me though, tight straps wrapped around my belly monitoring her showed a few ups and downs with her heart rate but by the next day she’d settled a bit and movements were back to normal. The frightening thing is that when in the hospital, I was told I was measuring about six weeks behind. Oh dear. I knew I looked small but really, that far behind? 

Growth scan’s coming up so all will be revealed..!

28 Weeks – Pretty big changes..

At about this point, I was starting to feel under pressure about housing. Probably just hormones again, right? Wrong! I was anxiously checking the housing online system every day and on this day, it just so happened to have gone through, woo, we’re getting a house! Wait, are we? Wrong again! Placed in category D, the lowest category, for wanting to simply live independently. I’m sorry, did I not mention the growing child in my uterus that inevitably will make its departure one day and probably require a home to live in. Oh that’s right, I did mention it, but I’m sure the little one would be just as fine crawling about the streets. I’ll make a moses basket out of some bubble wrap and somebody’s recycling bin, shall I? 

A few phone calls later resulting in tears, I’d abandoned us finding a place at all and had to be brought to sanity again by the other half. We looked at a few private rent properties and figured we might as well go see a few, signed up for some viewings and began thinking about going down that road. And god I’m so glad we did, because by this point we had seen a nice two bedroom house that was nice enough inside, perfect size and didn’t have all the crap fees needed to move in. The day later, deposit was down and two weeks later – we had the keys to our very own place! 

Things were actually coming together by this point (..and by coming together, I mean getting scarier – the next step is actually having this baby!?) 

Just in case anyone is reading this and they’re at the ‘pregnant and looking for our own place’ stage in their life, paying bills is not fun. It’s depressing and soul destroying and the only consolation is that you have a roof over your head and place to call your own. 

Week 26 – My brother’s wedding!

This at least I remember, for two wonderful reasons – my big brother finally got married and just wow, the wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Vicki looked absolutely stunning and my brother handsome and yeah, I’m sure I cried when she walked down the aisle. Is that normal at a wedding? I can’t differentiate between what’s a normal way to react to things and what’s the pregnant way to react. But anyway, here we are, mammy and daddy.. whilst you are still so very very tiny and growing in there.. 

The second and probably what should be the less important reason as to why I actually remember 26 weeks pregnant, was that when we did go to the wedding, we all decided to stay over in the premier inn in Newcastle. Sounds pretty basic right? Maybe we’re just easily pleased.. but WOW. I died and went to heaven the moment I crawled into that bed that night, it was that amazing. The most comfortable bed ever and the first full, uninterrupted, comfortable night’s sleep in a very long time. That’s right, this much joy over one night’s sleep. Is this what I had to look forward to, disturbed nights that were inevitably going to get worse? I think back then I didn’t realise just how much I should have appreciated sleep, god knows how I’ll cope with a screaming baby keeping us up. 

Perfectly topped off with an all you can eat breakfast on the morning, followed by a look round the Sunday market on the river side where I was able to buy some very cute baby gingerbread men that looked like babies – that’s right, I bought some ginger babies. Because oh, the irony.  

Brilliant weekend full of small pleasures. Keep them coming. 

Oh and before I forget, my bump finally starting to protrude a little.. 

 

Week 24 – My growing belly and apparently moodiness..

Back tracking what’s actually been going on with me is actually a little bit harder than I thought, when all I’ve got to go off is instagram pics and facebook statuses which unfortunately, don’t depict anything other than me being a bit stressy and hormonal, however I can update with progress pics ableit they’ve also come to a bit of a halt as of late. But hey, no judgement right? No judgement for not showing off my ever growing bulging stomach that drags me down day by day, who doesn’t want to see that? 

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‘pretty much 24 weeks anyway, people keep asking to see so trying to keep a weekly progress thing. right now my belly is feeling really tight and from my perspective just looks really round, although I know I’m still tiny really. currently feeling crappy and down, loneliness is really creeping in and id be crying right now if i wasn’t so tired. feeling this down all the time is exhausting..’  – Oh dear, pregnancy isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. 

Week 16+1 – Give it a rest, hormones.

This seems like a stupid title for me because actually, the hormones thing hasn’t really kicked in and there’s only been one or two momentous occasions of ridiculous emotions flying everywhere, except for right now.

Right now it’s half two in the morning (hardly the perfect sleeping pattern for growing a child in you I’d imagine) and I’m lying awake in bed undecided, yes actually undecided, as to whether I’m going to flood myself with tears and make my face sore until I inevitably succumb to sleep which I have so far been quite deprived of (thanks OH!) ORRRRR, get so fuming and angry that I actually want to kick and scream and bite something and punch something. Quite honestly I’m leaning towards the latter, but given it being this late and there people in this house who aren’t pregnant who feel exactly the same and crazy and are absolutely f-ing mental right now, we’ll just have to put a pin on that one.

All of this, and it’s pretty much unjustified, apart from the fact that it’s been a crappy and very hectic weekend of work. I’m feeling downer than ever right now.

#nobody #gives #a #sh

Laterrrrrs.

Week 10 – Hair disasters and annoyances.

Hair disasters? Where do I start! 

Actually, it all started with me thinking, oh, i fancy that lighter blonde-ish hair colour there, instead if my super dark ‘mahogany’ brown hair, verging on black that I have now. Have you ever tried to change your hair colour this drastically, let alone when you’ve been pregnant? I sincerely hope not, because after the long process, what followed was not nice. I actually have had no trouble with hair dyes let me reassure you, in the six years that I have been dying my hair from home, so this was a little bit of a shock. Yesterday I had used a colour remover on my hair, a blonde hair dye, followed by an ash blonde hair dye, and all was going well until the last dyes got on and my scalp started to sting. Some hair dyes do sting a little, and it actually calmed down a bit, but after all the dying and scrubbing and drying and repeating, at the very end of it all.. my sister quite wonderfully announced that my scalp, was bleeding. I must’ve had a chemical reaction/burn. Marvelous. Just what I wanted! A nice ash blonde stained red colour (and I say ash blonde, but really that was a bit optimistic thinking it would get that light – its more of a medium gingery brown from a dark brown black colour). Not only this, but because I’ve decided to let it settle and not aggravate my scalp more for a few days, I slept on it, and have a clumpy horrible patch at the back where it has actually dried into my hair. Even better. Lesson learned – once you are pregnant, you can’t do ANYTHING the same again. What a disaster.   

Other than that, people have been quite irritating lately, asking a lot of questions like ‘are you sure you’re pregnant?’ – really? After six positive tests, I’d think so. No need for you to put doubts into my head though, not like I’m already worried about the scan and everything being alright. You are all an absolute delight to talk to. I’ll give them the fact that I’ve had nausea mostly and bouts of morning sickness the last week, which appears to have stopped now. Counting myself lucky on that front, but please shut up. 

On a positive note – I can’t even think of anything positive right now. Lets go with a more crazy lady note, where I’ve only gone and bought a dress for a little baby girl, when we don’t even know what we’re having! In my defense, it won’t make a difference on what we end up having, I won’t love it any less if it was a boy, and it was super super cheap, down from £10 to £2.50!! Bargain! Only little niggle is that it’s first size and little lacy dresses aren’t probably what normal people dress their newborns in. To hell with it! I may go buy something for a little boy to even the playing field though. Lets hope this is normal haha. 

x