28 Weeks – Pretty big changes..

At about this point, I was starting to feel under pressure about housing. Probably just hormones again, right? Wrong! I was anxiously checking the housing online system every day and on this day, it just so happened to have gone through, woo, we’re getting a house! Wait, are we? Wrong again! Placed in category D, the lowest category, for wanting to simply live independently. I’m sorry, did I not mention the growing child in my uterus that inevitably will make its departure one day and probably require a home to live in. Oh that’s right, I did mention it, but I’m sure the little one would be just as fine crawling about the streets. I’ll make a moses basket out of some bubble wrap and somebody’s recycling bin, shall I? 

A few phone calls later resulting in tears, I’d abandoned us finding a place at all and had to be brought to sanity again by the other half. We looked at a few private rent properties and figured we might as well go see a few, signed up for some viewings and began thinking about going down that road. And god I’m so glad we did, because by this point we had seen a nice two bedroom house that was nice enough inside, perfect size and didn’t have all the crap fees needed to move in. The day later, deposit was down and two weeks later – we had the keys to our very own place! 

Things were actually coming together by this point (..and by coming together, I mean getting scarier – the next step is actually having this baby!?) 

Just in case anyone is reading this and they’re at the ‘pregnant and looking for our own place’ stage in their life, paying bills is not fun. It’s depressing and soul destroying and the only consolation is that you have a roof over your head and place to call your own. 

Week 26 – My brother’s wedding!

This at least I remember, for two wonderful reasons – my big brother finally got married and just wow, the wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Vicki looked absolutely stunning and my brother handsome and yeah, I’m sure I cried when she walked down the aisle. Is that normal at a wedding? I can’t differentiate between what’s a normal way to react to things and what’s the pregnant way to react. But anyway, here we are, mammy and daddy.. whilst you are still so very very tiny and growing in there.. 

The second and probably what should be the less important reason as to why I actually remember 26 weeks pregnant, was that when we did go to the wedding, we all decided to stay over in the premier inn in Newcastle. Sounds pretty basic right? Maybe we’re just easily pleased.. but WOW. I died and went to heaven the moment I crawled into that bed that night, it was that amazing. The most comfortable bed ever and the first full, uninterrupted, comfortable night’s sleep in a very long time. That’s right, this much joy over one night’s sleep. Is this what I had to look forward to, disturbed nights that were inevitably going to get worse? I think back then I didn’t realise just how much I should have appreciated sleep, god knows how I’ll cope with a screaming baby keeping us up. 

Perfectly topped off with an all you can eat breakfast on the morning, followed by a look round the Sunday market on the river side where I was able to buy some very cute baby gingerbread men that looked like babies – that’s right, I bought some ginger babies. Because oh, the irony.  

Brilliant weekend full of small pleasures. Keep them coming. 

Oh and before I forget, my bump finally starting to protrude a little.. 

 

Week 24 – My growing belly and apparently moodiness..

Back tracking what’s actually been going on with me is actually a little bit harder than I thought, when all I’ve got to go off is instagram pics and facebook statuses which unfortunately, don’t depict anything other than me being a bit stressy and hormonal, however I can update with progress pics ableit they’ve also come to a bit of a halt as of late. But hey, no judgement right? No judgement for not showing off my ever growing bulging stomach that drags me down day by day, who doesn’t want to see that? 

‘pretty much 24 weeks anyway, people keep asking to see so trying to keep a weekly progress thing. right now my belly is feeling really tight and from my perspective just looks really round, although I know I’m still tiny really. currently feeling crappy and down, loneliness is really creeping in and id be crying right now if i wasn’t so tired. feeling this down all the time is exhausting..’  – Oh dear, pregnancy isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. 

Week 11+2 – BOREDOM.

Honestly, I don’t know whether I’m just incredibly bored being off work all week, or it’s just because I’ve been waiting for the last seventeen days.. for the scan tomorrow. Oh, THE SCAN IS TOMORROW. Wow, I don’t know whether I’m scared, excited or just a little numb about the whole thing actually. I can’t quite grasp the concept that tomorrow at 3pm I’ll be going to the hospital to have goo dolloped on my belly, and some stranger looking at my baby before I get to, might I add. I think a little part of me is fully expecting to go there and find out that actually, there’s nothing there, or whatever was inhabiting me, has ceased to and has vacated the premises because actually, my womb doesn’t resemble the egyptian beach holiday it was hoping for. I know that sounds awful, but that’s what I’m worried about and I’m trying to be realistic in case that happens. Lets face it, I’ll be devastated and sobbing quite a lot. I’ve grown strangely attached to this little tadpole peanut jelly bean thing growing inside of me, or at least the idea of this thing being a baby eventually, being loved and adored and hopefully being well behaved and the cutest thing ever. But oddly enough, despite wanting everything to be okay and being worried, I still can’t quite grasp that this is happening. There’s very little to convince me.. aside from the now three missing monthly witches, the throwing up, nausea and indigestion. 

Actually, on that note, just this morning I was saying to my mam that it looks like the sickness has stopped (not that I’ve had a lot regardless) and it’s just the nausea. This was about five minutes after I’d had a yoghurt, and about two small mouthfuls of chicken noodles, before I threw it all up. Irony loves me what can I say. Since then I’ve eaten two mince pies and a custard doughnut from greggs though, so all is well, not healthy, but well.

That’s all I have to report for now, my hopes and fears, boredom and sickness. How wonderful. Maybe I’ll update tomorrow with info from the scan and a pic hopefully! 

 

Week 10 – Hair disasters and annoyances.

Hair disasters? Where do I start! 

Actually, it all started with me thinking, oh, i fancy that lighter blonde-ish hair colour there, instead if my super dark ‘mahogany’ brown hair, verging on black that I have now. Have you ever tried to change your hair colour this drastically, let alone when you’ve been pregnant? I sincerely hope not, because after the long process, what followed was not nice. I actually have had no trouble with hair dyes let me reassure you, in the six years that I have been dying my hair from home, so this was a little bit of a shock. Yesterday I had used a colour remover on my hair, a blonde hair dye, followed by an ash blonde hair dye, and all was going well until the last dyes got on and my scalp started to sting. Some hair dyes do sting a little, and it actually calmed down a bit, but after all the dying and scrubbing and drying and repeating, at the very end of it all.. my sister quite wonderfully announced that my scalp, was bleeding. I must’ve had a chemical reaction/burn. Marvelous. Just what I wanted! A nice ash blonde stained red colour (and I say ash blonde, but really that was a bit optimistic thinking it would get that light – its more of a medium gingery brown from a dark brown black colour). Not only this, but because I’ve decided to let it settle and not aggravate my scalp more for a few days, I slept on it, and have a clumpy horrible patch at the back where it has actually dried into my hair. Even better. Lesson learned – once you are pregnant, you can’t do ANYTHING the same again. What a disaster.   

Other than that, people have been quite irritating lately, asking a lot of questions like ‘are you sure you’re pregnant?’ – really? After six positive tests, I’d think so. No need for you to put doubts into my head though, not like I’m already worried about the scan and everything being alright. You are all an absolute delight to talk to. I’ll give them the fact that I’ve had nausea mostly and bouts of morning sickness the last week, which appears to have stopped now. Counting myself lucky on that front, but please shut up. 

On a positive note – I can’t even think of anything positive right now. Lets go with a more crazy lady note, where I’ve only gone and bought a dress for a little baby girl, when we don’t even know what we’re having! In my defense, it won’t make a difference on what we end up having, I won’t love it any less if it was a boy, and it was super super cheap, down from £10 to £2.50!! Bargain! Only little niggle is that it’s first size and little lacy dresses aren’t probably what normal people dress their newborns in. To hell with it! I may go buy something for a little boy to even the playing field though. Lets hope this is normal haha. 

x

Week 9 – First antenatal appointment!

That’s right, the first midwifey appointment, where I got to pee in a tub, have my blood pressure checked and four vials of blood drained from my poor little body. Not only that but I had the pleasure of answering about a thousand questions about mine and OH’s health background and about birth plans and all sorts, as well as finding out that because I’m underweight, I need a few more consults than usual at the hospital, which means more weeing in a tub. The NHS really are so lucky for my generous contributions, aren’t they. The blood taking was the worst (I hate needles!) but I suppose if I can’t get through that.. there really is no hope for me harbouring and eventually bringing into the world something somewhat larger than a watermelon. 

On a positive – THE SCAN DATE. AAAAH. The scan date is actually the 21st Feb, 17 days away. That’s just over two weeks to actually see this little grape/strawberry sized thingy that’s growing inside of me, causing me nausea, discomfort and hormonal mood swings. It better be bloody worth it in the end. Right now I’m just hoping everything’s healthy and happy and going ahead as planned, even if my body absolutely cannot take it. Oh well.

17 days to go. 

OH, and I’m also convinced we’re having a boy. I think I mentioned this previously, but it’s just some weird sense. There are baby girl names we love to bits, that suit so well and we are so certain of.. and no boy names. NO BOY NAMES. And whilst my side of the family want a girl, his side wants a boy and I have no faith in me getting my own way in this. Plenty of time to think I guess, but the cute little lacey dresses in ASDA’s baby event are toying with me! No fair!

Enough rambling from me anyway, inabit 🙂 x  

Week 8+1 – Is this morning sickness? I think so.

Yeah, so I’m just gone 8 weeks pregnant ‘apparently’ (I’m still not convinced) and the only real bouts of morning sickness I’ve had where I’ve actually thrown up has been during my trip to London after feeling a little off and drinking a cuppa, and another morning after a bowl of weetabix and a cuppa. I’m beginning to think it’s either the milk, or the tea, or both, and quite frankly I can’t cope with not having a cup of tea as and when it pleases me. 

Anyway, other than those two wonderful occasions, really, most of my time consists of running to the toilet, to almost throw up, but instead I just end up heaving with a sore stomach and feeling queasy on and off all day. If this is morning sickness, then I’m probably lucky, although I don’t feel it. It also sort of worries me, or not worries, just reminds I suppose, me that the old tale goes that morning sickness is worse with a little girl, so probably not what I’m having. After we’ve thought of a wonderful baby girl name (I know, so early and already having a name!) and I probably want a girl and dislike EVERY male name ever, I’ll end up with a little boy. 

Wow, I sound pretty ungrateful. Obviously it means the world to me and beyond that the baby is healthy and whatever gender it will be I will love it unconditionally, but it’s pretty difficult to not have a preference I think. Unless its twins in which case we had one of each, but that would be the complete wrong thing to be wishing for right now. I’d have to give one away. In fact I’ve already tried to offer people one of them just in case that scenario comes into play. Oh dear. I should stop thinking about that.

Midwife appointment next week anyway, a little disappointed that there wont be any actually progress reported on the baby but whatever, lots of blood to be taken and it’s a step closer to finding out the progress I guess. When does this all actually start to feel real though? 

Week 6+1 – Hello hormones!

This has got to be the most obvious change I’m experiencing right now, an increase of crazy hormones. Or maybe it actually isn’t a change, I somewhat remember being a little bit, okay a lot, of an emotional, easily provoked and unstable person with me usually crying over a simple vine of a kid finally seeing their dad back from the army (that pretty much guarantees tears). OH is actually pretty sure that I’m being crazy and always have been, but he hasn’t got the baby making developing sicky stressy hormones flowing through his body, he;s just on the receiving end of them. 

What makes me think that I’m experiencing this? Lets examine the evidence.

1. The first bout of hormones, was probably a couple days ago when OH came home from work late to me sobbing my heart out thinking about next month’s pay being pretty low, wondering how the hell I could raise a baby on such little money (bearing in mind, earlier that day I was thrilled with the way my finances looked, as they looked pretty promising for the London trip!). He very wonderfully, reassured me that even though I had not considered him in the equation even in the slightest (whoops!), he makes money himself, and will be there to support and provide! Now isn’t he lovely. 

2. Today, after having a lovely night out for a meal and the cinema (don’t get used to those luxuries Rebecca), as we finally arrived home, and pulled up by the house.. ‘Robert will you grab my bag please?’ ‘Where is it, it’s not here.’ I REPEAT, WHERE IS IT. ITS NOT HERE. At this point the last place I remembered seeing it, was hanging up on behind the toilet door, at the cinema some 13 miles away, FANTASTIC. Until, moments later and in a panic might I add, I searched the back seat of my car.. to find my bag. OH just didn’t see it. And BAM, he apologized, looked at me knowing full well  what as about to happen. He knew it, I knew it. I started crying. In relief you might think? No,just out of the sheer fact that this little moment just happened. 

3. Then there’s the general getting irritated at every little thing and everyone, particularly OH, and he know’s, believe me. As well as animals. You ever hear that animals can sort of sense t hat something’s going on with you when you’re pregnant? Well maybe they can, BUT HOW ANNOYING CAN A BLOODY ANIMAL BE. These pets are driving me crazy, and when I leave my house and go to OH’s, his pets drive me crazy. 

Wow, upon reflection I really do sound mental.Well, that’s it for now. I’m sure there’ll be a lot more stress to come, seeing as this time next week we’ll be in London and no doubt these symptoms will be increasing. 

Byyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee.

Week 5 – And how my life is already changing…

Pregnancy related not a lot is happening. Still next to no symptoms, which I suppose is a blessing. And I say not a lot i really happening, until you read one of those apps that freaks you out telling you little poppy seed is now an ugly little tadpole thing about the size of a sesame seed or apple seed or something, wonderful! Baby’s first growth spurt! That’s a little creepy. This app also works out little tadpole’s star sign, and what characteristics it would typically have as a baby or toddler, and not that I believe them usually, but when fussy eater and sensitive stomach come up, which seem incredibly accurate to what I was like as a baby, well.. you get a bit concerned. 

My life however, has changed dramatically within the last two weeks. First, there’s the obvious finding out I’m pregnant, then telling my parent’s and family and a friend or two (or the fear of telling them, actually them finding out has been much better than expected). But NOW, I’m currently at high priority on a waiting list for a house, and all I’m waiting for is a wonderful little letter through the post to tell me which rubbish form of accommodation they’d like to shack me up in, within this wonderful not so wonderful little village. 

This has got to be one of the hardest decisions I’ve faced so far, whilst also seeming relatively easy at the same time.. that make’s no sense, but my thoughts on this are as follows: 

• A baby should be raised in a house by it family, a place to call home.
• A baby is the start of a life, my life and a family ergo, start living elsewhere. 
• Raising a baby at home with my parents or OH’s parents would be a massive inconvenience to all parties involved.
• I also love the idea of having my own home when friends/family come over etc.  
• HOWEVER, can we/I afford this? Things to consider = furniture, nevermind just baby things!
• I’m so over my head with all of these things, I literally have no realistic idea of what it will be like. 
• BENEFITS. This will not be my proudest moment, as I’d never wanted to or planned on claiming. But from a different perspective, any help I can get I hope to get in order to provide for a child. 

So that’s the housing issue. And on top of that, I’m currently saving for and planning a little trip to London to see all of my family hopefully, go into London and do exciting things, and see a friend who I haven’t seen in about 8 years, wow, lots to do and think about. Oh my. Updates laterrr. xx