Week 35+2 – Progress!

Okay, so all the sobbing and stress may have been warranted or it may not have. Perhaps the posts online about the miserable experience at the last growth scans, as well as hating the hospital that one day my daughter will be born in may have been a bit of an over exaggeration.. but I still stand by the fact that they suck an I’ll be glad to be rid of the place. 

THANKFULLY, I have a lovely midwife. She’s supportive and explains everything and you can tell she genuinely loves her job and values what she does, as does everyone under her care I imagine. Why the sudden woman crush? This morning I saw the midwife not really expecting anything other than a routine appointment, however after explaining the hassle with the last scan and how useless I felt the entire experience had been, she had a feel of the baby, measured my uterus and bam, straight on the phone only to get a growth scan in tomorrow. Even better, she’s said it’ll be done by an actual midwife this time and not some crappy sonographer, so hopefully there’ll be a bit better of an experience. 

Ideally, tomorrow we (and by we, I mean I) want all measurements taken, time to see our little girl on the screen and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE some pictures of this one, since the twenty week scan pic wasn’t great and I haven’t been offered them at the last ones. FIngers crossed! Although hoping for the best usually results in me getting let down.

Blergh, ramble ramble.

Let’s see how it goes tomorrow. :) 

Week 35+1 – Up to date, what’s happening right now!

This is me, right now. 35 weeks pregnant and whilst I’m constantly told that I look about four months along, I’m about 8 months and this, for me, is huge. So lately what’s been going on? Well, lets start with my mental break down last week.

Last week was our growth scan, our last time seeing our little not so little anymore bean on the screen, before we eventually meet her in person. After being told I was measuring so small, and having early induction mentioned (if growth isn’t on track) I was hoping to have some sort of idea as to whether they’d be, and by they I mean I’d be pushing her out earlier than anticipated. Unfortunately the scan proved to be a bit disappointing. First of all, the doctor doing it said about three words to us and and answered no questions and offered no reassurance, but secondly, our little girl was so far down and tucked away that they pretty much found it impossible to get measurements. This meant we came away with only two measurements from this scan, and now I have absolutely no clue how she’s doing and what the doctors are likely to decide. Sob sob sob. Actually, that’s exactly what I did – sob. Having greater expectations from this scan, where we didn’t even really see our little girl and only had the heartbeat pointed out, well, I was bound to be let down and I absolutely was. This was probably one of the worst days so far.

Right now, I’m waiting for a midwife appointment tomorrow and the consultant appointment to discuss growth next week – very anxiously waiting. I’m battling induction or naturally going into labour in my head and trying to be prepared for both possibilities, but to be quite honest I cannot imagine her coming early. Cue the first time mother freak out. 

I. Know. Nothing (John Snow – sorry). I get frightening thoughts along the lines of, ‘what the hell do I do with a baby..‘ as labour approaches and we actually have this little person to care for and be her entire life system basically. From what I gather they don’t issue an instruction manual at the hosptial, which would be really bloody handy. Hasn’t anybody suggested this?

Maybe I need one of those books – first time parenting for dummies..

Anyway, that’s enough from me. I’ll keep you guys updated this time. 

Week 32 – Hospitals and holidays!

Yeah, pregnancy just gets more and more fun doesn’t it? On this day I’d been decorating the baby’s room all day and probably hadn’t noticed that much that I hadn’t felt the little one moving so much that day. And inconveniently, she decided that the appropriate day to take a day off would be the day before I drove off to London with the mother and nephew. This was a new experience for me though, tight straps wrapped around my belly monitoring her showed a few ups and downs with her heart rate but by the next day she’d settled a bit and movements were back to normal. The frightening thing is that when in the hospital, I was told I was measuring about six weeks behind. Oh dear. I knew I looked small but really, that far behind? 

Growth scan’s coming up so all will be revealed..!

28 Weeks – Pretty big changes..

At about this point, I was starting to feel under pressure about housing. Probably just hormones again, right? Wrong! I was anxiously checking the housing online system every day and on this day, it just so happened to have gone through, woo, we’re getting a house! Wait, are we? Wrong again! Placed in category D, the lowest category, for wanting to simply live independently. I’m sorry, did I not mention the growing child in my uterus that inevitably will make its departure one day and probably require a home to live in. Oh that’s right, I did mention it, but I’m sure the little one would be just as fine crawling about the streets. I’ll make a moses basket out of some bubble wrap and somebody’s recycling bin, shall I? 

A few phone calls later resulting in tears, I’d abandoned us finding a place at all and had to be brought to sanity again by the other half. We looked at a few private rent properties and figured we might as well go see a few, signed up for some viewings and began thinking about going down that road. And god I’m so glad we did, because by this point we had seen a nice two bedroom house that was nice enough inside, perfect size and didn’t have all the crap fees needed to move in. The day later, deposit was down and two weeks later – we had the keys to our very own place! 

Things were actually coming together by this point (..and by coming together, I mean getting scarier – the next step is actually having this baby!?) 

Just in case anyone is reading this and they’re at the ‘pregnant and looking for our own place’ stage in their life, paying bills is not fun. It’s depressing and soul destroying and the only consolation is that you have a roof over your head and place to call your own. 

Week 26 – My brother’s wedding!

This at least I remember, for two wonderful reasons – my big brother finally got married and just wow, the wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Vicki looked absolutely stunning and my brother handsome and yeah, I’m sure I cried when she walked down the aisle. Is that normal at a wedding? I can’t differentiate between what’s a normal way to react to things and what’s the pregnant way to react. But anyway, here we are, mammy and daddy.. whilst you are still so very very tiny and growing in there.. 

The second and probably what should be the less important reason as to why I actually remember 26 weeks pregnant, was that when we did go to the wedding, we all decided to stay over in the premier inn in Newcastle. Sounds pretty basic right? Maybe we’re just easily pleased.. but WOW. I died and went to heaven the moment I crawled into that bed that night, it was that amazing. The most comfortable bed ever and the first full, uninterrupted, comfortable night’s sleep in a very long time. That’s right, this much joy over one night’s sleep. Is this what I had to look forward to, disturbed nights that were inevitably going to get worse? I think back then I didn’t realise just how much I should have appreciated sleep, god knows how I’ll cope with a screaming baby keeping us up. 

Perfectly topped off with an all you can eat breakfast on the morning, followed by a look round the Sunday market on the river side where I was able to buy some very cute baby gingerbread men that looked like babies – that’s right, I bought some ginger babies. Because oh, the irony.  

Brilliant weekend full of small pleasures. Keep them coming. 

Oh and before I forget, my bump finally starting to protrude a little.. 

 

Week 24 – My growing belly and apparently moodiness..

Back tracking what’s actually been going on with me is actually a little bit harder than I thought, when all I’ve got to go off is instagram pics and facebook statuses which unfortunately, don’t depict anything other than me being a bit stressy and hormonal, however I can update with progress pics ableit they’ve also come to a bit of a halt as of late. But hey, no judgement right? No judgement for not showing off my ever growing bulging stomach that drags me down day by day, who doesn’t want to see that? 

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‘pretty much 24 weeks anyway, people keep asking to see so trying to keep a weekly progress thing. right now my belly is feeling really tight and from my perspective just looks really round, although I know I’m still tiny really. currently feeling crappy and down, loneliness is really creeping in and id be crying right now if i wasn’t so tired. feeling this down all the time is exhausting..’  – Oh dear, pregnancy isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.