Week 22 – Gender, the smallest bump ever and little twitches!

WE’RE HAVING A GIRL!!!

Wow, I’m still so excited about that and we’ve known for about two weeks now, but yep, after a lot of belief that it was actually going to be a boy (I blame everyone else guessing boy, and me hopelessly convincing myself), when the sonographer said girl, I was overjoyed. That moment of finding out, whilst some might say is ruined unless you wait until the birth, was absolute, euphoria. That is a moment I’ve never experienced before, and it was amazing to just hear one little word, because now we know who she is. Okay so we don’t know know, but we know she’s a she and a gorgeous little one she will be. The day we found out absolutely delighted me. Although we didn’t get a good scan picture and baby gave the sonographer a hard time getting all the measurements, we spent more time on this scan and spent the day spending every last penny on buying pink pink pink! 

Other than that, things seem to be progressing well. My bump, for almost being twenty two weeks pregnant, is barely noticeable. People would think I’d had a very large breakfast, or may not even think that at all because I’m still so tiny! I sound like I’m complaining, but I’m sure come the end of this I’ll be longing for feeling this small. Until now I’ll just complain that I’m a little small for my maternity jeans, yet too big for any of my other jeans or trousers, oh that’s fun. 

On top of all of this, I’ve been feeling little kicks and twitches in my belly on and off up till about 20 weeks but barely noticeable and very infrequent. Until the other day, when I’d said I hadn’t felt her in a while, and since then I’ve felt her loads. Little twitches when I’m all curled up and comfy, half asleep (already ruining my sleep I see). That small complaint there is a complete lie, I love every twitch, movement, feeling, whatever. I love it. When she’s being active I like to think she’s really happy in there, doing her best to dance around and play and that fills me with absolute joy. 

I’m at the point in pregnancy now where I just don’t want to forget these feelings because they’re great and I know one day I’ll miss them. The positive feelings, not the negative stressful feelings that are lurking in the background all related to sorting out housing, maternity leave, maternity pay and all sorts (add some fear in here too cause that’s creeping in).. But the feelings of love and adoration to this wonderful, happy, growing little girl that I can’t wait to meet. 

Until next timeeee. 

Week 16+1 – Give it a rest, hormones.

This seems like a stupid title for me because actually, the hormones thing hasn’t really kicked in and there’s only been one or two momentous occasions of ridiculous emotions flying everywhere, except for right now.

Right now it’s half two in the morning (hardly the perfect sleeping pattern for growing a child in you I’d imagine) and I’m lying awake in bed undecided, yes actually undecided, as to whether I’m going to flood myself with tears and make my face sore until I inevitably succumb to sleep which I have so far been quite deprived of (thanks OH!) ORRRRR, get so fuming and angry that I actually want to kick and scream and bite something and punch something. Quite honestly I’m leaning towards the latter, but given it being this late and there people in this house who aren’t pregnant who feel exactly the same and crazy and are absolutely f-ing mental right now, we’ll just have to put a pin on that one.

All of this, and it’s pretty much unjustified, apart from the fact that it’s been a crappy and very hectic weekend of work. I’m feeling downer than ever right now.

#nobody #gives #a #sh

Laterrrrrs.

Week 14 – Whoops? Scans, shopping and the second trimester!

Some slight inactivity I’ll admit ;) But here’s for a wonderful wonderful recap. My fears of something bad being revealed at the scan – idiotic! Everything was absolutely fine, we got to see our little bambino inside of my tummy! First it was asleep, all curled up looking like a kidney bean and my thoughts were. ‘is that it?.’ I honestly was thinking that it doesn’t look like a baby at all, until it moved. Yes, it got up, faced right at us (on the screen anyway) and had a good old wriggle and dance, WOW. We actually saw this little thing’s arms and legs wriggling around! Did I cry you might ask? No, at the stupidest time ever, I got the uncontrollable giggles, which actually got in the way of the sonographer trying to capture a photo of said kidney bean. Luckily enough, I maintained a moment of sanity for a second, and here we are.. 

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The only thing we didn’t expect at the scan was the date being a little less far along as I’d thought, so this pushed us back a little and so finally, today, I am 14 weeks pregnant! The second trimester!! This hopefully means goodbye to the morning sickness and feeling crappy, getting a little bump to display soon and hopefully a nice glow in which makes all the sickness seem so far worth it.

Other than the scan, we are no further forward with establishing somewhere to live, whoopee! But we did get to go on a big baby spending spree where we bought lots of little pairs of socks, and baby toiletries etc. We actually managed to buy the travel system too, and the one I wanted! Which I absolutely adore and cannot wait to use haha – shh, maybe too soon for that. But we’ll get there :) 

Up and coming, I have the consult at the doctors tomorrow for being so underweight, which dear god do I have to go to? I hardly fancy being told off for not eating enough and lectured, when I know very well I have to eat more and actually keep this thing inside of me growing – thanks doc, I had no idea. Hopefully they’ll give me some idea of how to gain a little weight that the baby needs, and some extra growth scans wouldn’t go a miss ;) Fingers crossed extra scans! 

Aaaaand in a couple weeks we have the midwife again, and a couple weeks after that we have the 20 week scan. This is THE scan, the fingers crossed it’s what you want scan, the pink or blue scan, the dangly bits or not dangly bits scan. EEK! Lots to look forward to and to not look forward to. The joys!

Week 11+2 – BOREDOM.

Honestly, I don’t know whether I’m just incredibly bored being off work all week, or it’s just because I’ve been waiting for the last seventeen days.. for the scan tomorrow. Oh, THE SCAN IS TOMORROW. Wow, I don’t know whether I’m scared, excited or just a little numb about the whole thing actually. I can’t quite grasp the concept that tomorrow at 3pm I’ll be going to the hospital to have goo dolloped on my belly, and some stranger looking at my baby before I get to, might I add. I think a little part of me is fully expecting to go there and find out that actually, there’s nothing there, or whatever was inhabiting me, has ceased to and has vacated the premises because actually, my womb doesn’t resemble the egyptian beach holiday it was hoping for. I know that sounds awful, but that’s what I’m worried about and I’m trying to be realistic in case that happens. Lets face it, I’ll be devastated and sobbing quite a lot. I’ve grown strangely attached to this little tadpole peanut jelly bean thing growing inside of me, or at least the idea of this thing being a baby eventually, being loved and adored and hopefully being well behaved and the cutest thing ever. But oddly enough, despite wanting everything to be okay and being worried, I still can’t quite grasp that this is happening. There’s very little to convince me.. aside from the now three missing monthly witches, the throwing up, nausea and indigestion. 

Actually, on that note, just this morning I was saying to my mam that it looks like the sickness has stopped (not that I’ve had a lot regardless) and it’s just the nausea. This was about five minutes after I’d had a yoghurt, and about two small mouthfuls of chicken noodles, before I threw it all up. Irony loves me what can I say. Since then I’ve eaten two mince pies and a custard doughnut from greggs though, so all is well, not healthy, but well.

That’s all I have to report for now, my hopes and fears, boredom and sickness. How wonderful. Maybe I’ll update tomorrow with info from the scan and a pic hopefully! 

 

Week 10 – Hair disasters and annoyances.

Hair disasters? Where do I start! 

Actually, it all started with me thinking, oh, i fancy that lighter blonde-ish hair colour there, instead if my super dark ‘mahogany’ brown hair, verging on black that I have now. Have you ever tried to change your hair colour this drastically, let alone when you’ve been pregnant? I sincerely hope not, because after the long process, what followed was not nice. I actually have had no trouble with hair dyes let me reassure you, in the six years that I have been dying my hair from home, so this was a little bit of a shock. Yesterday I had used a colour remover on my hair, a blonde hair dye, followed by an ash blonde hair dye, and all was going well until the last dyes got on and my scalp started to sting. Some hair dyes do sting a little, and it actually calmed down a bit, but after all the dying and scrubbing and drying and repeating, at the very end of it all.. my sister quite wonderfully announced that my scalp, was bleeding. I must’ve had a chemical reaction/burn. Marvelous. Just what I wanted! A nice ash blonde stained red colour (and I say ash blonde, but really that was a bit optimistic thinking it would get that light – its more of a medium gingery brown from a dark brown black colour). Not only this, but because I’ve decided to let it settle and not aggravate my scalp more for a few days, I slept on it, and have a clumpy horrible patch at the back where it has actually dried into my hair. Even better. Lesson learned – once you are pregnant, you can’t do ANYTHING the same again. What a disaster.   

Other than that, people have been quite irritating lately, asking a lot of questions like ‘are you sure you’re pregnant?’ – really? After six positive tests, I’d think so. No need for you to put doubts into my head though, not like I’m already worried about the scan and everything being alright. You are all an absolute delight to talk to. I’ll give them the fact that I’ve had nausea mostly and bouts of morning sickness the last week, which appears to have stopped now. Counting myself lucky on that front, but please shut up. 

On a positive note – I can’t even think of anything positive right now. Lets go with a more crazy lady note, where I’ve only gone and bought a dress for a little baby girl, when we don’t even know what we’re having! In my defense, it won’t make a difference on what we end up having, I won’t love it any less if it was a boy, and it was super super cheap, down from £10 to £2.50!! Bargain! Only little niggle is that it’s first size and little lacy dresses aren’t probably what normal people dress their newborns in. To hell with it! I may go buy something for a little boy to even the playing field though. Lets hope this is normal haha. 

x

Week 9 – First antenatal appointment!

That’s right, the first midwifey appointment, where I got to pee in a tub, have my blood pressure checked and four vials of blood drained from my poor little body. Not only that but I had the pleasure of answering about a thousand questions about mine and OH’s health background and about birth plans and all sorts, as well as finding out that because I’m underweight, I need a few more consults than usual at the hospital, which means more weeing in a tub. The NHS really are so lucky for my generous contributions, aren’t they. The blood taking was the worst (I hate needles!) but I suppose if I can’t get through that.. there really is no hope for me harbouring and eventually bringing into the world something somewhat larger than a watermelon. 

On a positive – THE SCAN DATE. AAAAH. The scan date is actually the 21st Feb, 17 days away. That’s just over two weeks to actually see this little grape/strawberry sized thingy that’s growing inside of me, causing me nausea, discomfort and hormonal mood swings. It better be bloody worth it in the end. Right now I’m just hoping everything’s healthy and happy and going ahead as planned, even if my body absolutely cannot take it. Oh well.

17 days to go. 

OH, and I’m also convinced we’re having a boy. I think I mentioned this previously, but it’s just some weird sense. There are baby girl names we love to bits, that suit so well and we are so certain of.. and no boy names. NO BOY NAMES. And whilst my side of the family want a girl, his side wants a boy and I have no faith in me getting my own way in this. Plenty of time to think I guess, but the cute little lacey dresses in ASDA’s baby event are toying with me! No fair!

Enough rambling from me anyway, inabit :) x  

Week 8+1 – Is this morning sickness? I think so.

Yeah, so I’m just gone 8 weeks pregnant ‘apparently’ (I’m still not convinced) and the only real bouts of morning sickness I’ve had where I’ve actually thrown up has been during my trip to London after feeling a little off and drinking a cuppa, and another morning after a bowl of weetabix and a cuppa. I’m beginning to think it’s either the milk, or the tea, or both, and quite frankly I can’t cope with not having a cup of tea as and when it pleases me. 

Anyway, other than those two wonderful occasions, really, most of my time consists of running to the toilet, to almost throw up, but instead I just end up heaving with a sore stomach and feeling queasy on and off all day. If this is morning sickness, then I’m probably lucky, although I don’t feel it. It also sort of worries me, or not worries, just reminds I suppose, me that the old tale goes that morning sickness is worse with a little girl, so probably not what I’m having. After we’ve thought of a wonderful baby girl name (I know, so early and already having a name!) and I probably want a girl and dislike EVERY male name ever, I’ll end up with a little boy. 

Wow, I sound pretty ungrateful. Obviously it means the world to me and beyond that the baby is healthy and whatever gender it will be I will love it unconditionally, but it’s pretty difficult to not have a preference I think. Unless its twins in which case we had one of each, but that would be the complete wrong thing to be wishing for right now. I’d have to give one away. In fact I’ve already tried to offer people one of them just in case that scenario comes into play. Oh dear. I should stop thinking about that.

Midwife appointment next week anyway, a little disappointed that there wont be any actually progress reported on the baby but whatever, lots of blood to be taken and it’s a step closer to finding out the progress I guess. When does this all actually start to feel real though?